Showdown

Ma, I'm so down. The thing I hate the most is dreaming. She's in my dream, with other people or being so mean to me.
When I wake up I don't feel at ease at all, to say the least.
What is left of these four years? Not much and among that, bills and taxes.
I received the local taxes for last year so I had to call her. Actually emailed her because I've realized I had forgotten her cell phone numbers I had deleted from all my electronic devices (much as the Egyptians would do...).
Now, I am afraid. I don't want her to tell me she's met somebody, I'm fear the moment (because I know it is the case) I will sense that there's no hope of being back together again.
Where's the light?

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Welcome to the show! I'm M., a French guy who's 34 and now single. Everything is falling down and I'm trying to put the remaining parts of my so-called sentimental life together. Welcome to my Messy Life!