Welcome to this messy life <body> <body>

Tuesday, October 30, 2007 @1:26 AM

Holding the fort
I did it. I am on meetic.fr once again. This is a site where according to the commercials I'll find love once again. I don't know for sure, but what I know is that I'm not better than all these wackos that can't touch a woman without having a hard-on or without drooling out of fear.
The girls all seem to have problems (being ugly is not the most important, trust me) and even if there's some diamond in the rough every now and then, you'd better be ready to dig for a long time..
So, Internet gods, send me someone who will make me forget her.Please. With boobs and a brain.

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Sunday, October 28, 2007 @1:02 PM

Showdown
Ma, I'm so down. The thing I hate the most is dreaming. She's in my dream, with other people or being so mean to me.
When I wake up I don't feel at ease at all, to say the least.
What is left of these four years? Not much and among that, bills and taxes.
I received the local taxes for last year so I had to call her. Actually emailed her because I've realized I had forgotten her cell phone numbers I had deleted from all my electronic devices (much as the Egyptians would do...).
Now, I am afraid. I don't want her to tell me she's met somebody, I'm fear the moment (because I know it is the case) I will sense that there's no hope of being back together again.
Where's the light?

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Tuesday, October 16, 2007 @7:08 PM

Music to my ears
I love English. Ok, that's the understatement of the day. But somehow, through translation, reading a beautiful poem provokes an odd an fascinating echo in you. This poem by Shelley has been with me for a long time. And when I find my new One, my last One I hope, it will be my daily motto. I swear it. Actually, swearing is not hard. Not forgetting is the toughest part.


The fountains mingle with the river,
And the rivers with the ocean;
The winds of heaven mix forever,
With a sweet emotion;

Nothing in the world is single;
All things by a law divine
In one another's being mingle: --
Why not I with thine?

See! the mountains kiss high heaven,
And the waves clasp one another;
No sister flower would be forgiven
If it disdained its brother;

And the sunlight clasps the earth,
And the moonbeams kiss the sea: --
What are all these kissings worth,
If thou kiss not me?


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@6:40 PM

We are all but comedians
This is what a friend of mine told me. As my morale is going down the drain, on Monday morning, one of my student collapsed (epilepsy). Kind of hard to keep his composure.
Anyway, let's talk about relatives. Of course, when you break your former One takes away all the friends you could have who weren't yours at first.
Some of them try to keep in touch every now and then but something is missing. Plus, I don't want to talk with them. I don't want them to mention the Former One. And yet, when they don't mention her, I just wonder why and the whole hostile world of living without her becomes a reality, once again.
So you just say you're busy to make everything shorter, including the friendship between you and this lovely and caring person.
Life sucks for the unloved..Or "it always rains for the unloved" as Neil Gaiman put it more elegantly..

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Saturday, October 13, 2007 @12:55 PM

Another step to...where?
In my quest to find a new Princess, things are getting really nasty. I've always seen myself as quite a stable person, but I'm on a rocky road (not talking about dessert here). In the quest I'm embarking, I'm betting on quantity. so far, I'm dating 3 girls, I got a one night stand last night with one and I've never felst so alone. I'm just sailing in the dark, trying my luck but still comparing these potential lives with the one I lost.
I miss her so much that it leads me to do stupid things (stupid but SAFE, be assured).
So far, it's going nowhere, it's just the illusion of not being alone, of falling asleep with somebody next to you but knowing deep inside your heart that the ONE is somewhere, out there.
I've had quite a success with girls recently (a lot more than what I could have anticipated) but each time I realize I won't be clicking, I just realize how much I lost.

Where's my Pam?


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Thursday, October 4, 2007 @12:09 AM

Relapse
The GoldenRule: never say you're over her.
The malicious Universe will make you pay these words the hard way. Two days ago, after having done many things and talked to many persons, I foolishly thought that. It has now been two days minus this sentence that I feel totally depressed. Not even Michael Scott seems to beable to help me.
I'm studying for the Agregation (that very French super Teaching diploma) and that prevents me to think about her too much, hopefully. But when I'm tired, I can tell you I feel bad. Yet, I'm nit physically alone. There's a new girl in my life. I'll talk about her in my next post because, once again, it's a complicated matter (if that were not the case, where would the fun be?)

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The Story So Far

M Welcome to the show! I'm M., a French guy who's 34 and now single. Everything is falling down and I'm trying to put the remaining parts of my so-called sentimental life together. Welcome to my Messy Life! free music

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