Another month in this shitty situation

The tunnel is getting quite long. I'm dreaming of You. Yes, you , the one that will make my nights look shorter and my life quite more pleasant. I've got my load of projects but I'm just facing a tough question. Am I really interested in these projects or is it because I have to change my mind, waiting for something better (just some I can fall in love with) to happen?
Will I just drop everything I'm into when she appears?
You know I'm in this period where i'm just rebuilding. Rebuilding my social life (new cellphone, new contacts) but I'm just in phase 1 where I AM the guy calling and not receiving a lot of sollicitations by the ones I'm interesting in. I have to add because the ones I don't feel anything for just keep on calling me... I sincerely think the Universe is just making fun of me and its doghouse is definitely a big one.

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Once again...

Every month I have my down period. All it takes is a lonely night, quite silent, except in my head where memories are swarming around. Knowing that she's got another boyfriend meaning she doesn't spend any night pondering about may happen or what HAVE happened. On these nights, the world seems motionless, forever stuck in this bloody (so british) present time.
I know it will pass. I know it, but as Frodo, I'm naked in the dark. I know that somewhere beyond that horizon I'll find my own paradise. The one I won't get kicked out from...

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The story so far...

Well, long time no read. It's not that I'm not over her, far from it. Suffice to say I only write when I am in deep trouble, when I can't take it anymore. Where is she now? With somebody else, owing me money, only answering to me with short sentences as if she were writing a telegram, telling me she don't have an internet access 24/7 (but yet, she has time to write for for her blog). Well, that's not the point. Actually, I don't miss her THAT much. I miss being with somebody.
I miss casual phone calls, the ones that crush your plan (not sure it's an English slang expression but, anyway..), the "how was traffic?" sentences (one of the most subtle lines in THE OFFICE, by the way), going to the supermarket and talking about groceries.
Of course, this Valentine's day crap doesn't help. The previous years I didn't celebrate this dollarfest even though I could have. This year, I won't but only because I can't. That makes a difference and a sad one.
I know I'll have brighter days but man, they are long to come....

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Christmas spirit?

So what happened in these last few days? Well not much. Last night I had to give up on my charming neighbor who texted me in a very polite but "read-between-the-lines" way. It hurts mesince it was a non-online date in a long time.
I've also seen my ex. sbhe was sitting in a car and the only topic was the money she owes me and she keeps on not sending me. So bottom line: she's with somebody else, I'm history and by the way, merry christmas!
I feel so down. Why do I have this feeling I'm paying for something? I don't find it fair (but fairness has nothing to do with that) that she's with somebdoy and I'm just being single, trying my best to meet someone but failing miserably.
I need time. Time and somebody else to get over it and her. Let's look a the bright side: I have plenty of time.

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Christmas spirit?

So what happened in these last few days? Well not much. Last night I had to give up on my charming neighbor who texted me in a very polite but "read-between-the-lines" way. It hurts mesince it was a non-online date in a long time.
I've also seen my ex. sbhe was sitting in a car and the only topic was the money she owes me and she keeps on not sending me. So bootom line: she's with somebody else, I'm historyand by the way, merry christmas!
I feel so down. Why do I have this feeling I'm paying for something? I don't find it fair (but fairness has nothing to do with that) that she's with somebdoy and I'm just being single, trying my best to meet someone but failing miserably.
I need time. Time and somebody else to get over it and her. Let's look a the bright side: I have plenty of time.

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OOPS

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend of the month. I knew from the beginning it wouldn't last long but she was a really nice girl and even if it wasn't love, I had tons of tenderness for her. Our break up was bittersweet. A few tears but not that much. For a moment, I had the feeling to be in one "How I met your mother episode". But there were no laughs. Just the sound a door we closed.
Rough times.

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That was bound to happen

I haven't written a lot lately because things were fine. And just like that I gor a call from her, and just like that, she told me she had a new boyfriend and just like that "World falling apart II" was released. It's a mix o feelings in my heads at the moment.
The good part of things is that now, I can move on. Now, I know it's over for good.
So you know what?I have to move forward.
I had planned to write a long post but it turned out that my night of strangely calm sleep gave me that advice. No need to think about these dark times anymore. She moved forward, focus on what you are and do the same.

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Welcome to the show! I'm M., a French guy who's 34 and now single. Everything is falling down and I'm trying to put the remaining parts of my so-called sentimental life together. Welcome to my Messy Life!